Trump's Mar-A-Lago Hires 70 Foreign Workers

OF COURSE, IT'S TOUGH FOR TRUMP TO BE OVERSEAS, BECAUSE THAT'S
WHERE ALL THE FOREIGNERS ARE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
TRUMP IS NOT A HUGE FAN.
DOESN'T REALLY LIKE THEM THAT MUCH.
TRUMP HAS BEEN CLEAR THAT HE WANTS US TO "BUY AMERICAN, HIRE
AMERICAN," SO IT'S SLIGHTLY SURPRISING THAT HE RECENTLY
HIRED 70 FOREIGN WORKERS FOR HIS MAR-A-LAGO GOLF CLUB.
SO ALL YOU DREAMERS ARE WELCOME TO STAY, AS LONG AS YOUR DREAM
IS MOWING THE BACK NINE.
( LAUGHTER ) MAR-A-LAGO HAS BEEN GRANTED
WHAT'S KNOWN AS H2B VISAS, AND TO GET THEM, MAR-A-LAGO "HAD TO
SHOW THAT NO ONE ELSE WANTED THE JOBS, INCLUDING CALLING OLD
EMPLOYEES AND PUTTING ADS IN THE NEWSPAPER."
THEY ALSO POSTED THE JOB ONLINE WITH "YOU'RE GOING TO BE WORKING
FOR A monster.com."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) GOOD ORGANIZATION.
GOOD ORGANIZATION.
SO, OBVIOUSLY THE WAY THE LAW IS DRAWN UP, THEY HAD A
STRONG INCENTIVE TO MAKE THE JOBS LOOK BACK TO AMERICAN
WORKERS, AND THEY SUCCEEDED BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS ACTUAL
LISTING IN THE "PALM BEACH POST" THAT READ:
"THREE MONTHS RECENT AND VERIFIABLE EXPERIENCE IN FINE
DINING COUNTRY CLUB, NO TIPS," AND "INSTRUCTED APPLICANTS TO
APPLY BY FAX."
YOU MIGHT AS WELL POST, "DEAD- END JOB, SLAVE WAGES, MUST APPLY
VIA TELEGRAM, HIGH PROBABILITY OF MEETING DONALD TRUMP."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) , OF COURSE,-- RUBBING
ELBOWS!
RUBBING ELBOWS!
( APPLAUSE ) OF COURSE, LAWN CARE IS A
ROUGH-AND-TUMBLE WORLD OUT THERE, LAWN MAINTENANCE.
JUST ASK KENTUCKY SENATOR AND MAN CAUGHT MID-MACARENA,
RAND PAUL.
NOW, SENATOR PAUL WAS ATTACKED LAST WEEK,
SUSTAINING FIVE BROKEN RIBS AND A BRUISED LUNG.
IT WAS A VICIOUS ATTACK, AND I WISH SENATOR PAUL A SPEEDY
RECOVERY SO HE CAN GET BACK TO THE SENATE TO TAKE AWAY YOUR
HEALTHCARE.
( LAUGHTER ) PAUL'S ASSAILANT WAS HIS
NEXTDOOR NEIGHBOR, RETIRED ANESTHESIOLOGIST AND
BOTOX AMERICAN, RENE BOUCHER.
BOUCHER IS A REGISTERED DEMOCRAT, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE
WERE SPECULATING THAT BOUCHER ASSAULTED THE LIBERTARIAN
SENATOR FOR POLITICAL REASONS.
IT WAS LIKE A CHAPTER OUT OF AYN RAND'S BOOK, "ATLAS MUGGED."
( LAUGHTER ) BUT WE'RE LEARNING MORE DETAILS
ABOUT THE INCIDENT.
APPARENTLY, "THE VIOLENT ALTERCATION BEGAN OVER A
LANDSCAPING DISPUTE."
OF COURSE, LANDSCAPE DISPUTES ARE THE LEADING CAUSE OF
VIOLENCE BETWEEN MIDDLE-AGED WHITE MEN.
( LAUGHTER ) RIGHT AFTER LOWES PARKING
LOT SCUFFLE AND WRESTLING OVER THE LAST TOMBSTONE FOUR-MEAT
PIZZA AT CVS.
NOW, I CONDEMN ALL FORMS OF VIOLENCE, BUT IT IS REFRESHING
TO SEE THAT EVEN IN THIS POLITICALLY-CHARGED ENVIRONMENT,
WE CAN GO BACK TO FEUDING OVER STUPID STUFF, BECAUSE I'M OLD
ENOUGH TO REMEMBER A TIME WHEN YOU DIDN'T HATE PEOPLE FOR THEIR
POLITICAL BELIEFS.
NO, YOU HATED THEM BECAUSE THEIR SCREEN DOOR STILL MAKES THAT
DAMN SOUND.
OIL IT!
( LAUGHTER ) WE DIDN'T JUDGE A MAN BY THE
BUMPER STICKERS ON HIS CAR.
WE JUDGED HIM FOR LEAVING THAT CAR ON CINDERBLOCKS IN FRONT OF
THE HOUSE.
IT'S AN EYESORE, JIM!
SO GO TO YOUR NEIGHBOR, LOOK HIM IN THE EYE AND SAY, "I WILL
NEVER ATTACK YOU FOR YOUR PRINCIPLES, BUT IF YOU DON'T
TAKE DOWN THOSE DAMN WIND CHIMES, I WILL TORCH YOUR
GARAGE."
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
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Trump's Mar-A-Lago Hires 70 Foreign Workers

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