Trump's Tax Reform Is - BEYONCÉ IS NALA IN LION KING!

WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
YOU KNOW, TRUMP AND HIS REPUBLICAN BUDDIES ARE STILL
TRYING TO DO ANYTHING.
SO FAR, NOTHING.
THE LATEST CHOP AT THE T-BALL IS TAX REFORM.
TODAY, THEY ANNOUNCED A $1.5 TRILLION OVERHAUL OF THE
TAX CODE, WITH MAJOR TAX CUTS TO CORPORATIONS AND THE RICH.
THIS IS THE BIGGEST STORY!
OR IT WOULD BE, IF WE HADN'T JUST HEARD THAT BEYONCE WILL BE
STARRING IN THE NEW "LION KING!" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WHOO!
OH, LA, LA, OH, AYE!
I TRUST I'M PRONOUNCING THAT CORRECTLY.
THIS IS THE MEETING OF DISNEY AND BEYONCE-- THE WORLD'S MOST
BELOVED BRAND, AND DISNEY.
THIS MOVIE WILL ALSO FEATURE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T BEYONCE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT THE ROLE OF SIMBA WILL BE PLAYED BY
DONALD GLOVER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HOPEFULLY DONALD GLOVER WILL BE
ABLE TO CAPTURE THE MAJESTY OF AFRICAN
PRIDE EMBODIED IN THE ORIGINAL VERSION BY JONATHAN TAYLOR
THOMAS.
( LAUGHTER ) OKAY, IT'S A HIGH BAR.
>> Jon: YEAH.
DID A GOOD JOB.
>> Stephen: ENOUGH OF THAT.
BACK TO TAX REFORM.
THE NEW REPUBLICAN TAX PLAN WILL ESTABLISH THREE TAX BRACKETS, AT
12%, 25%, AND-- WHO AM I KIDDING?
JON OLIVER IS PLAYING ZAZU!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IZAZU!
THIS I♪ THIS IS THE MORNING REPO ♪ I GIVE YOU THE LONG REPORT ♪
♪ MORNING REPORT!♪ ( LAUGHTER )
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH...
>> Stephen: I HAD LITTLE CHILDREN IN THE '90s.
OLIVER IS PERFECT TO PLAY ZAZU, HE ALREADY LOOKS LIKE A BRITISH
PA RITE!
( LAUGHTER ) WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
RIGHT, TAXES.
TAXES.
DONALD TRUMP IS CONFIDENT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE GOING TO
LOVE THEIR NEW PLAN AND WHY?
BECAUSE IT SAVES PAPER.
>> MOST AMERICANS WILL BE ABLE TO FILE TAXES ON A SINGLE SHEET
OF PAPER.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT, KEVIN?
YOU STILL THERE?
OR IS IT GOING TO BE A PAPER AND A HALF, EY?
HEY, WOW!
GREAT JOB!
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO BE GIVEN A PROP.
>> IT' ( LAUGHTER )
>> STEPHEN: I THINK HE JUST SEXUALLY HARASSED A POSTCARD.
( LAUGHTER ) OH, UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.
YOU LIKE THAT, BABY?
YOU LIKE THAT, BABY?
YOU WANT TO SEE MY DEDUCTIONS, HUH?
I LIKE MY TAXES LIKE I LIKE MY WOMEN, E-Z.
( APPLAUSE ) HIM, NOT ME.
HIM, NOT ME.
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Trump's Tax Reform Is - BEYONCÉ IS NALA IN LION KING!

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