Weird How Everyone President Donald Trump Knows Does Crimes

(news program music)
- Hi, I'm a newsperson, and here's some news.
Last week week we talked about how stories
like Uranium One and the DNC partially funding
the Steele Dossier were created and overblown
by right-wing media to distract from the president's actions
and perpetual struggle to do the job
he didn't want and doesn't like,
and days later, the president's former campaign manager
Paul Manafort and his deputy were indicted by the FBI
for felonies, like failing to register as a foreign agent,
something that was also failed to do
by the president's former National Security Adviser
Michael Flynn but, that's from like,
twelve years ago, so who cares anymore.
(news program music)
Anyway, sorry, back to the felonies
of the president's former campaign manager Paul Manafort,
who once wrote in a 2005 memo,
"We are now of the belief that this model
"can greatly benefit the Putin government if employed
"at the correct levels with the appropriate commitment
"to success, and the effort will be offering
"a great service that can re-focus,
"both internally and externally,
"the policies of the Putin government."
That guy and his deputy have been charged
with failing to register as a foreign agent,
making false statements about being a foreign agent,
conspiracy to launder money,
for example, money laundering, the Trump Taj Mahal casino
broke anti-money laundering rules 106 times
in its first year and 1/2 in the early 90s,
or like how Felix Sater, the president's
former senior advisor at his company,
and long-time partner on projects like Trump Soho,
and the guy who wrote to Trump's lawyer,
"I will get all of Putin's team to buy in on this,"
and, "we'll make our boy president,"
plead guilty to money laundering in 1998.
But anyway, Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort's charges,
conspiracy against the United States, money laundering,
tax fraud, show us your taxes, Mr. President,
you fucking fraud, and false statements,
like how Donald Trump consistently claims
he has nothing to do with Russia,
even though each of his dumb adult sons
have separately said proudly and out loud
that they get most of their money from Russia,
and even though all of that other stuff I just said.
In addition to those stuff I just said,
a member of Trump's campaign's foreign policy
advisory panel, George Papadopoulos,
plead guilty to lying to the FBI
about his contacts with the Russian government
during the 2016 presidential election.
And here's some news, in regards to all that stuff
I just said, the president is fine with it.
(news program music)
It's true, here's some news, the president is fine.
He's not mad, and he doesn't care about any of it.
He's so not mad, that after reports that he was really mad,
he called the New York Times to tell them,
"Hey, I'm not, quote, angry at anybody."
He backed this up by earlier tweeting,
"Sorry, but this is years ago, before Paul Manafort
"was part of the Trump campaign.
"But why aren't Crooked Hillary and the Dems the focus?????"
Hammering home that he's not mad
by adding five question marks.
To the question, why aren't Crooked Hillary,
who isn't the president, and the Dems the focus of this,
my campaign manager being indicted for many crimes
in the investigation of my possible crimes?
Also, some of the charges, yes, are before
the Trump campaign, but conspiracy against
the United States ranges from 2006,
a year after Manafort wrote that memo
about greatly benefiting the Putin government,
to 2017, which is, this year.
He followed up the five question marks with a tweet
starting with four dots, and then,
"Also, there is NO COLLUSION!"
All caps, one exclamation point.
So, like, the president's fine.
And the president continued in his I'm-not-mad call
by saying, "I'm not under investigation, as you know,"
to which his Chief of Staff John Kelly replied on Fox News,
"It is very distracting to the president,
"as it would be to any citizen,
"to be investigated for something."
Do we have a clip of that?
(news program music)
- It is very distracting to the president,
as it would be to any citizen,
to be investigated for something.
- So to reiterate, the president is fine,
and doing fine.
As Laura Ingraham put it, "If you think today is a bad day
"for Trump, you're living on another planet."
Ah!
(news program music)
Speaking of Fox News, they are not fine,
calling for Mueller to resign, for Hillary Clinton
to go to jail, and in one case,
just going after the judge, asking,
"Paul Manafort judge: Who is Deborah A. Robinson?"
To which the first paragraph answered that she,
"has experienced the criminal justice system firsthand.
"when her son was convicted of dealing heroin."
First paragraph.
Good, not at all scummy job, Fox News.
(news program music)
Speaking of Fox News, the White House,
which also tried to downplay the role of George Papadopoulos
and took a cue from a Trump tweet,
"Few people knew the young, low level volunteer
"named George, who has already proven to be a liar."
Except, his lie was that his communication
with the Russian government occurred before the campaign,
and the FBI discovered the truth,
which is that they happened during your campaign,
so shut the (bleep) up, Mr. President,
you (bleep) liar.
Low level volunteer.
This is a common tactic, anything to downplay
these people's roles.
Back in the day, Sean Spicer said Michael Flynn
was just a volunteer on the Trump campaign,
despite then being appointed
his National Security Advisor, Sean.
He also said Manafort played a minimal role,
despite being his campaign chairman and manager
for many months, and later being indicted for many crimes.
Sean.
Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said
of Papadopoulos's role, "It was extremely limited,
"it was a volunteer position."
This extremely limited position involved
being on Trump's foreign policy team,
pictured here with the president doing that,
traveling to London to get information
about Hillary Clinton, and emailing a high-ranking
Trump campaign official to discuss
Russia's interest in hosting Mr. Trump.
"Have been receiving a lot of calls over the last month
"about Putin wanting to host him and the team
"when the time is right."
Another part of Trump's tweet, "Few people knew George,"
is hard to imagine, considering the president
has what the president describes
as one of the great memories of all time, or a GMOAT.
- One of the great memories of all time.
One of the great memories of all time.
- Do we have a quick random example
of the president's GMOAT?
- I know nothing about David Duke,
I know nothing about white supremacists.
Well, you've got David Duke just joined, a bigot, a racist.
- Well, we tried.
Unless that's the president using his GMOAT
to remember who David Duke is,
remember who his racist base is,
and remember to pretend to not know who David Duke is,
to avoid disavowing him for as long as possible.
And surely Trump's GMOAT could remember
that time he named George Padapolousos by name
when he used his name and said he was an excellent guy.
Also, that photo of him.
Although, Sarah Huckabee Sanders does point out that,
"The president has thousands of photographs
"with millions of people," though she failed to add,
"And of those millions of people,
"all of them were on the president's national security team,
"and all of them went to London to get dirt
"on the president's opponent, and all of them spent
"a lot of their time setting up a meeting
"between the president and the Russian government,
"and the president doesn't remember those people,"
even though he has what some dumbest person ever
might call--
- One of the great memories of all time.
One of the great memories of all time.
- Although Huckabee Sanders did find the time to spend
the week defending the Confederacy,
and severely downplaying the role of slavery
in the Civil War, so.
2017!
(news program music)
The final part of the president's tweet about George
is that, "Few people knew the young low level volunteer
"named George, who has already proven to be a liar."
And so speaking of the White House, Fox News again.
Because they saw that word young and they ran with it.
And Sean Hannity took the charge saying, "What?
"So he lied to the FBI, he's, what, 29?
"He's a kid!"
Do we have, uh, that's not an excuse?
- The kid was 27 years old.
- A 29-year-old.
- This kid. This kid.
- I think he's 29 years old.
- The 29-year-old guy.
- 21, 29-year-old, who is he?
I'd never heard of him!
- This is a tactic we've already seen by alleged
serial sexual assaulter and harasser Bill O'Reilly,
who has paid tens of millions of dollars
to silence women who've accused him of being
a serial sexual assaulter and harasser.
When Jared Kushner was first implicated in meetings
with the Russian government for his definitely
a criminal father-in-law, O'Reiley's defense was basically,
"Come on, look at this little kid!"
- He looks like he's 17 years old, 18.
- And sure, quick Petty Joke Junction,
Jared Kushner looks like Jack Skellington's
little brother Todd just made debate team,
but he's 36 and in charge of bringing peace
to the Middle East, and you don't have to be older
than 29 to know not to lie to the FBI
about meeting with the Russian government.
And even if that were an excuse for him making
criminal mistakes, it doesn't change the implications of him
lying to the FBI, and then making a deal with them
in this investigation.
Do we have a clip of implications?
- It is very distracting to the president,
as it would be to any citizen,
to be investigated for something.
- And another?
- I have nothing to do with Russia.
- Uh-huh!
Another really convincing tactic to discredit
the Mueller investigation as Fake News was pointing out,
"Funny how CNN knew exactly when and where to show up
"and get this footage of Paul Manafort today."
Of all the times, the morning he was supposed
to turn himself in.
Of all places, at the FBI building.
Of all people.
President Donald Trump's former campaign manager
and money launderer and sayer of,
"We are now of the belief that this model
"can greatly benefit the Putin government
"if employed at the correct levels
"with the appropriate commitment to success,
"and the effort will be offering a great service
"that can re-focus, both internally and externally,
"the policies of the Putin government."
Of all of those.
(news program music)
But here's not some news, but here's the thing.
If any of their excuses are true, it's still very bad.
It was just reported that Trump does not recall
Papadopoulos's suggestion of meeting with Putin
during the presidential campaign,
despite his mother(bleep)ing GMOAT
in his stupid (bleep) skull.
But also, a low-level volunteer that few people knew
flew around the globe to set up meetings
with foreign governments, and you didn't know?
Your campaign manager and National Security Adviser
were foreign agents, and you didn't know?
You run a (beep) operation, bro,
and maybe you shouldn't be running the country.
But let's say he does run a (beep) operation,
wild, I know, and let's say he isn't guilty at all.
Wild, I know.
He's still acting extremely guilty.
In addition to all of that stuff I said this whole time,
he also bends over backwards to accommodate
Putin's meeting requests.
He also keeps delaying Congress-approved Russian sanctions.
He also won't criticize Putin even for murder.
And he's spending a lot of time
downplaying the investigation,
and these people's roles in his campaign,
instead of acting like an innocent person and saying,
"Oh wow, I didn't realize all of these people around me
"were criminals doing crimes, and all of these people
"around me, the President of the United States,
"were secretly foreign agents.
"We should investigate this.
"Because that's bad.
"And I'm the innocent president."
I think maybe he's actually a little guilty of crimes,
the guilty piece of (bleep).
(news program music)
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Weird How Everyone President Donald Trump Knows Does Crimes - Some News

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