Donald Trump Jr. Wants More Privilege?

WELCOME ONE AND ALL, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
BIG NEWS FROM THE TRUMP-RUSSIA INVESTIGATION.
YESTERDAY, WE FINALLY GOT CONGRESSIONAL TESTIMONY FROM
DONALD TRUMP JR. HIS GRILLING BY THE HOUSE
INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE LASTED ROUGHLY EIGHT HOURS, MAKING IT
THE FIRST TIME A TRUMP HAS PUT IN A FULL WORK DAY.
( LAUGHTER ) DON, JR. WAS THERE ANSWERING
QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS INFAMOUS MEETING WITH
RUSSIAN LAWYER, NATALIA VESELNITSKAYA.
( LAUGHTER ) AS YOU RECALL, DON, JR. WAS
THERE LOOKING FOR DIRT ON HILLARY CLINTON.
BACK IN JUNE OF 2016, RIGHT?
THAT'S WHAT THE MEETING WAS ABOUT.
AND EVERYBODY WAS THERE!
PAUL MANAFORT, JARED KUSHNER-- IT WAS A REAL WHO'S WHO OF WHO
WANTS AN ORANGE JUMPSUIT?
( LAUGHTER ) WHEN THIS STORY FIRST CAME OUT
THIS SUMMER, DON JR. QUICKLY ISSUED A STATEMENT EXPLAINING
THE MEETING WAS JUST ABOUT AMERICANS ADOPTING RUSSIAN
CHILDREN.
BUT THAT STATEMENT WAS A LIE.
AND IT WAS DICTATED BY DONALD TRUMP TO DON, JR.
"SON, YOU CAN ALWAYS TRUST ME TO BE HONEST WITH YOU ABOUT HOW TO
LIE.
BELIEVE ME.
ALSO, NEVER BELIEVE ME."
( LAUGHTER ) YESTERDAY, WHEN THE
CONGRESSIONAL PANEL ASKED DON, JR. ABOUT HIS DAD'S INVOLVEMENT,
HE DIDN'T WANT TO ANSWER, SO HE CITED ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE.
"I HEREBY INVOKE ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE, FATHER-SON PRIVILEGE,
SAME-NAME PRIVILEGE, WHITE PRIVILEGE.
OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR, SUSTAINED.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER DICK WOLF.
I REST MY CASE."
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, DON, JR. IS NOT A LAWYER,
BUT STILL CLAIMS ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE BECAUSE "THERE WAS A
LAWYER IN THE ROOM DURING THE DISCUSSION."
IS THAT HOW IT WORKS?
IN WHICH CASE, I'M GOING TO ROB A LAW FIRM.
"ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, HANDS IN THE AIR.
REMEMBER, NONE OF YOU CAN TESTIFY!"
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, DONALD TRUMP, JR. HAS LONG
INSISTED THAT THERE WAS NO FOLLOW-UP TO HIS MEETING WITH
VESELNITSKAYA.
SO, YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING.
CNN GOT THEIR HANDS ON PREVIOUSLY UNDISCLOSED EMAILS
THAT SHOW A FOLLOW-UP AFTER THE TRUMP TOWER MEETING.
WOW.
IT SEEMS LIKE THERE'S NO END TO THE NUMBER OF EMAILS DON, JR. IS
HIDING.
WE NEED TO SEE THEM ALL.
CAN ANYONE HELP?
>> RUSSIA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING, I HOPE YOU'RE ABLE TO FIND THE
30,000 EMAILS THAT ARE MISSING.
>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU, CONCERNED CITIZEN.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THE EMAILS IN QUESTION ARE FROM
THE MAN WHO SET UP THE TRUMP TOWER MEETING, BRITISH PUBLICIST
ROB GOLDSTONE, SEEN HERE DRESSED AS THE STAR OF PRESIDENT TRUMP'S
RECURRING NIGHTMARE.
FOR A LONG TIME NOW, VARIOUS SOURCES HAVE INSISTED THAT THE
SUBJECT OF THE HACK OF THE D.N.C. WAS NEVER BROUGHT UP AT
THE MEETING.
SO, YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING.
ONE OF THE EMAILS FORWARDED A CNN STORY ON RUSSIA'S HACK OF
THE D.N.C., DESCRIBING IT AS "EERILY WEIRD" GIVEN WHAT THEY
HAD DISCUSSED AT THE TRUMP TOWER MEETING FIVE DAYS EARLIER.
OH, YOU DUMMY.
THAT'S LIKE FORWARDING AN ARTICLE ABOUT ARSON AND SAYING
"THIS IS EERILY WEIRD, GIVEN THAT WAREHOUSE WE TORCHED FIVE
DAYS AGO!" ( LAUGHTER )
DONALD TRUMP, JR. WAS ASKED ABOUT THESE EMAILS YESTERDAY,
AND HE SAID HE WAS NOT AWARE OF THEM OR COULD NOT RECALL THE
CONTENTS.
WOW, TWO EXCUSES!
"LOOK, I NEVER GOT ANY EMAILS, AND FURTHERMORE, I DON'T
REMEMBER WHAT WERE IN ALL THOSE EMAILS I GOT."
LAUGH BUT AFTER HIS TESTIMONY, DON,
JR. LEFT IN STYLE.
HE POSTED THIS INSTAGRAM PHOTO OF THIS TRUMP-HELICOPTER WITH
THE CAPTION, "TIME TO ROLL."
COINCIDENTALLY, "TIME TO ROLL" IS ALSO WHAT MICHAEL FLYNN SAID
RIGHT BEFORE HE CUT THAT DEAL WITH ROBERT MUELLER.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) BUT, DONNIE, "TIME TO ROLL?"
YOU LEFT IN A HELICOPTER.
IT IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE FEW VEHICLES THAT DOESN'T ROLL!
"LET'S PUT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL IN THIS HOT AIR BALLOON!"
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Donald Trump Jr. Wants More Privilege?

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