Don't Prepare for Disasters Like Paul Reiser

-Are you in New York City just for press
or are you here to celebrate?
-I'm here this week for press, but then next week,
we come back. And it's a tradition in my family.
We always come to New York for the last week
because we think, "Where would be the most crowded place
at the most busy time of the year?"
-That's so smart. -Yeah.
We like to walk around and go --
"The rest of the world must be empty.
They're all here." -Everyone is here!
-Do you enjoy the holidays
or do you go, "I want this part to be over with.
I don't like the holidays"?
-You know -- well, every December,
I get very excited about the new year,
because it's a new slate.
It's not. It's just another Tuesday,
but you think we're going to start over,
and you get the calendar.
That used to be the tradition.
You get the calendar
and it's all pristine and empty,
and you think, "I can do such great things next year."
I won't, but I'm thinking you could.
-It's a blank slate. -And then, of course,
the first thing you put in --
January 14th, dentist appointment.
You know, that's it. [ Laughter ]
-That's the big thing to do this year.
-It's not going to be a great year, I can tell.
But now you don't buy calendars
'cause they're all on the phones,
so you can scroll to any month, you scroll ahead,
right, to the next year.
I made a terrible mistake. I kept scrolling.
You go far enough into the future and you go,
"Oh, I'm definitely dead by here."
[ Laughter ]
You don't want see, like, I have no dentist appointments at all.
[ Laughter ]
-You don't even have a dentist appointment.
-Nothing. Now I wish I had a cleaning, something.
You know, Tuesday, dead,
Wednesday, still dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
It's very depressing. -At least it's on your calendar.
-Oh, I got it. -Yeah.
-Death will not surprise me. It's in there.
-You're a New Yorker originally.
-I'm from here. Now I'm there.
At the moment, I'm back here.
-Are you close to the fires?
How is everything out in California?
-You know, it's been a tough time.
There's still some going on.
This was the first time we were kind of close.
See, my whole thing with any emergency,
like earthquakes, they always tell you what to do,
and I make a note,
and then I do it wrong.
Like the first time I was out there, it was an earthquake.
Only thing I knew -- earthquake, get yourself to a doorway,
stand in a doorway.
We were taping a show.
We had a fake apartment with a fake door.
Earthquake, I ran to the fake door.
[ Laughter ]
Everybody is running out going, "What are you doing?"
I said, "It's a door."
They said, "No. A real door."
I said, "Well, they didn't say that."
-Yeah. That's not in the rules.
-And they tell you anytime you're gonna evacuate --
we had to be actually ready this time.
They said, "Get ready to go."
We didn't have to go, but they tell you to take --
the three things they always tell you to take --
clothes, medications, and photo albums,
because if you're going to start your life over from scratch,
that's what you want, underwear, Lipitor,
and pictures of when you were thinner.
That's what you need. [ Laughter ]
So you go, "Yeah, the house is gone,
but, man, lookit -- and even that's starting to thin."
[ Laughter ]
And they say it like it's a simple thing.
Grab the photo album, but there's more than one,
and then you go, "Oh, you know what -- there's the shoebox
filled with pictures we didn't put in the albums.
You got to grab that." -Didn't organize those photos.
-Then you got to go downstairs,
there's a big thing with picture and frames,
from when we painted. We never put them back.
So you're grabbing that.
Now you got 14,000 --
then you have to start making decisions,
'cause you can't take them all.
So you stand there going, "Okay, no cousins, lose the cousins.
Cousins are gone. Just the kids."
-We gotta get out of here, guys. -Come on!
And then you start reminiscing, you know,
you hear sirens, and you go,
"Was that your 30th birthday? Look at that.
What was her name?"
You know, so you don't want that to be your last conversation.
"What was her husband's name?" [ Laughter ]
That's the last thing you heard. -What was her husband's name?
Disney Adds Trump to Hall of Presidents - Monologue Rebel Wilson Competed in an All Styles Martial Arts Tournament Rebel Wilson Shares the Secret to Her American Accent Paul Reiser Is Sick of Sharing the Spotlight with the Stranger Things Kids Florida Man Stole Kevin Hart's Attention at the NYC Marathon Google Translate Holiday Songs with Rebel Wilson a Giant Owl Attacks Jimmy Fallon and Jeff Musial - Screams like a litlle girl Chris Pratt Can’t Stop Flirting With Jennifer Lawrence Anna Kendrick Does Her Impression of Kristen Stewart Talking About Pitch Perfect 3 James Franco Does His Impression of The Room's Tommy Wiseau

Don't Prepare for Disasters Like Paul Reiser

Latest Posts