Trump Remixes 'Twas the Night Before Christmas

-Here's what people are talking about.
Hey guys, do you remember that old episode of "The Apprentice"
where Trump fires Omarosa and she flips out?
Well, I guess they aired a rerun
the other night at the White House, and, uh...
Yeah.
It came out yesterday that Omarosa had been fired,
but the White House says she's leaving
to "pursue other opportunities."
Even dogs "living on a farm" upstate
were like, "Yeah, right."
I mean...
[ Applause ]
It's a crazy story.
After Chief of Staff John Kelly fired Omarosa,
she apparently tried to barge into Trump's private residence.
A Secret Service agent stopped her,
while another said, "Eh, I want to see how this plays out.
Get your phone. Get your phone out."
[ Applause ]
But Omarosa's trying to put a positive spin on things.
She said her goal all along
was to reach one year of working in the White House.
Which is funny 'cause that's actually Trump's goal, too.
And so they have similar -- similar --
-Oh.
-Well, Omarosa went on "Good Morning America" today
to give her side of the story,
but Robin Roberts had some interesting parting words.
Check this out. -I don't know if she's ever
gonna have a relationship with him again, yeah.
The fourth time could be the charm.
-She said she has a story to tell,
and I'm sure she'll be selling that story.
Yeah, she will. Bye, Felicia.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪♪♪
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, snap! -Oh!
And you thought it was cold out before.
Oh, yeah. "Bye, Felicia."
Meanwhile Trump was like, "I thought her name was Omarosa.
Is it Felicia?
You're fired, Felicia. You tell her. You tell her."
[ Laughter ]
This made me laugh.
I read that this week in the Oval Office,
a spider was on Trump's back, and someone killed it
by smacking him.
And for the rest of the day, staffers were like,
"Oh, look! another spider! [ Smack! ]
Oh, look, another spider! [ Smack! ]
Oh, there's one on your face!" [ Punch! ]
[ Laughter ]
"Ugh-ah-ugh-ugh-ah-ooh-wall."
[ Laughter ]
Meanwhile, Trump said that he wants to give people
a giant tax cut for Christmas.
Yeah, leave it to Trump to give you a Christmas present
that's actually just your own money.
It's like, "Oh, you shouldn't have!"
"I didn't. It's..."
But Republicans are still working on their tax bill,
and Paul Ryan even tweeted out his own version
of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"
and changed all the words to make it all about taxes.
Well, I guess Trump heard about it
because he just released his own version.
Take a look at this.
♪♪♪♪
-'Twas the night before Christmas
in Washington, D.C.,
and not a person was working, and especially not me.
When all of a sudden, there came a loud "bing, bing, bong."
And I went to go outside to see what was wrong.
And there was Saint Nicholas, who started to say,
"Merry Christmas to all.
[ Slurring ] And God bless the United States."
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Not bad. Not bad.
Good job.
[ Laughs ] That's funny.
Another big story out of Washington --
Today the FCC voted to repeal Net Neutrality,
which will make people pay for faster Internet service.
[ Audience booing ]
People called it greedy and unfair,
then the cable company said, "Have we not met?
Hi. Yeah. We're the cable company.
That's what we do."
Yeah, the repeal means that Internet providers
could slow down or block certain sites.
Americans were like, "If you can block Twitter
at the White House, you got a deal.
Let's do this.
If that's possible, then I'll think about it."
[ Cheers and applause ]
Some major business news here.
Disney has just closed a deal to buy most of 21st Century Fox.
But they will not be buying Fox News.
I guess Disney was like,
"Thanks, but we've already got enough cartoon characters.
So we're good."
[ Applause ]
Well, this isn't good.
A JetBlue flight on its way from L.A. to New York
had to turn around after a passenger
started biting people.
[ Laughter ]
Other passengers were furious.
They said, "How come he gets a meal?!
Blue chips?!
No one eats blue chips!"
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Trump Remixes 'Twas the Night Before Christmas - Monologue

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