Visit with Santa Cold Open

Ok give Santa back from his lunch break.
Up to the North Pole aka Panda Express.
That's right. And he's ready to hear your
Christmas wishes for you.
What about you. My little boy.
Are you ready to talk to Santa.
All right. We'll get on up here young man.
What's your name Tyler.
And Tyler what would you like Santa to bring you this year.
Could I get a Mega Bloks dinosaur.
Well I think that can be arranged and can I get a laser
tag.
Well I can certainly try.
And can you tell me what you
can do.
Hope. Ok.
Wow.
Let's see.
I think I can handle the mega blocks and the laser tag.
Can you take the Al Franken thanks for the bloom.
No and in this climate can you just call me Amy Day.
Well time I guess you could say that Al Franken is on Salmas
naughty list this year.
What about Roy Moore which this is here.
is here. It's not really a list it's
It's not really a list it's more of a registry.
Ok you know what. We should keep this line moving
along OK.
Good luck.
Ok who's up next.
Hi I'm Jessica.
Merry Christmas Jessica. What would you like from Santa.
I wanted to follow up on Tyler's question is President
Trump on the naughty list.
Well you know Santa tries to stay out of political matters
our president may have said or done a few naughty things 19
accusers. Google it.
Ok can we can we just not Amy.
Thanks Jessica. Thanks Jessica.
I'm sure we can all learn a I'm sure we can all learn a
lesson from what's going on in the news.
We sure can.
I learned that if you and you did something wrong you get in
trouble.
But if you did they let you keep your job.
Oh OK. What do you do.
Ok.
Just go. You might get some coal in your
stocking.
From where we both know coal is a dying industry.
Ok thank you very much.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Ok. Hello.
Hi Santa. My name is Billy.
I want to football. Well you got it.
I love football.
We're the players need the national anthem.
Did the troops know they're just kneeling because they're
tired from other brain injuries.
Sure.
Let's just go with that somehow. That's the happier version.
All right.
Let's go to the hospital.
Hi.
I asked my dad for any American girls are interested.
You want to know about drugs you know.
Well let me tell you is his tax cuts.
That's the economic subject. You know Santa didn't study
economics he studied musical theater which is why perhaps
he's working as a Santa at this mall right now.
Actually little lady that tax cut is like Harry Potter.
Ok. Make your health care disappear.
Make your health care disappear. Wow.
Wow.
Classic little time response. Yes.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Well got you. Q What do you want for
Christmas.
Santa Ana Barbie and that's the time when batteries are going
to take that away from me.
Ok Barbara you get it later and
you know just a reminder to keep your wishes light and
Christmasy and not political. Ok.
All right that's good.
I hate politics.
Thank the Lord instead.
I want to talk about opioid
next to you.
What would you like for Christmas.
I'm on NBC.
It's OK.
I'm NBC.
That's several Tara Wall.
Tell me what you know about Tel Aviv.
Did you say what about you. Maybe you like a toy from Santa.
Oh you mean toy like Matt Lauer gave to his co-worker.
>> EAR MUFFS, EAR MUFFS. WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GET
THESE KIDS FROM? I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS,
BUT I THINK OUR PUBLIC SCHOOLS ARE TOO GOOD.
NEXT. I AM GET AING YOU AN X BOX.
>> X BOX? AWESOME.
MORE FACTORY JOBS FOR CHINESE KIDS.
>> OKAY, KIDS. SANTA MIGHT NEED A BREAK.
THIS ONE MIGHT INVOLVE A CIGARETTE.
>> SANTA? >> YES, LITTLE GIRL WHAT'S YOUR
NAME. >> JENNY.
THIS YEAR I DON'T WANT ANY GIFTS.
I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO BE. >> OH, MY GOODNESS, JENNY,
LISTEN TO HE ME. I KNOW THAT THINGS SEEM
PARTICULARLY INSANE RIGHT NOW. LIKE TRULY MIND BENDINGLY
INSANE, AND WE SEEM SOF LOST ALL PERSPECTIVE ON WHAT'S NAUGHTY OR
NICE. >> I KNOW.
I'VE SEEN FOX NEWS. >> OH, THERE YOU GO.
BUTTED A BAD AS THINGS MIGHT SEEM, I PROMISE YOU, JENNY, IT
WILL BE OKAY. OKAY?
MAYBE NOT TODAY. MAYBE NOT TOMORROW.
MAYBE NOT FOR ANOTHER THREE YEARS, 42 DAYS AND 24 MINUTES,
JENNY, BUT MOST PEOPLE IN AMERICA ARE GOOD PEOPLE, AND
EVENTUALLY GOOD PEOPLE WILL FIX OUR COUNTRY.
>> OKAY. GOOD.
BUT JUST IN CASE, I'M PUTTING ALL MY MONEY IN BITCOIN.
>> OH, YES. THAT'S THE SPIRIT!
NOW DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT SANTA ALWAYS SAYS?
>> YES. >> DO YOU WANT TO SAY IT WITH
ME? >> OKAY.
>> MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY
NIGHT!
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Visit with Santa Cold Open - SNL

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