ATM - SNL

>>> WHAT ARE WE DOING? ARE WE STOPPING?
>> YEAH, I'VE GOT TO GET SOME CASH.
>> IN THERE? >> THAT'S A BANK, ISN'T IT.
>> I JUST -- I WOULDN'T STOP IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
>> RELAX, IT WILL BE LIKE TWO MINUTES.
>> OKAY, BUT HURRY. >> YO, HOLD THAT DOOR.
>> YOU KNOW, YOU CAN GO AHEAD IF YOU WANT TO.
>> NO, MAN, YOU WERE FIRST. >> I'M NOT REALLY IN A HURRY.
IT'S FINE. DO YOU WANT TO --
>> NEITHER AM I. >> YOU KNOW, IT'S SILLY, I THINK
I GRABBED THE WRONG CARD. >> OH, I GET IT.
A BLACK MAN FOLLOWS YOU IN HERE DRESSED LIKE THIS, AND NOW ALL
OF A SUDDEN YOU GRABBED THE WRONG CARD, HUH?
>> NO, NO, NO. >> I WORK MY ASS OFF 60 HOURS A
WEEK SO I DON'T HAVE TO STEAL FROM YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE, ALL
RIGHT. >> IT'S LATE, OKAY, YOU RAN IN
HERE. I GUESS I GOT A LITTLE RATTLED
ALL RIGHT? >> WELL, HEY HERE'S A TIP.
NOT EVERY BLACK MAN IS A DAMN THIEF YOU RACIST BASTARD.
>> OKAY, I'M SORRY. I SWEAR I'M NOT A RACIST, OKAY.
>> WELL THEN GO FIRST. >> ALL RIGHT.
FINE. I'M GOING TO GO.
[ BEEPING ] >> MAN, AIN'T YOU GOING TO COUNT
IT, MAKE SURE IT'S ALL RIGHT? >> YEAH, IT'S ALL HERE.
>> WELL THEN GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE ME THE MONEY.
>> HEY, MAN, I'M -- >> AHH, I'M JUST KIDDING.
MAN, LOOK HOW SCARED YOU WERE. YOU CAN SEE THAT, RIGHT.
WE GOTTA STOP THAT. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, MAN.
>> OKAY, MAN. HEY MAN, I'M SORRY AGAIN.
I THANK YOU FOR -- I'M NOT A RACIST.
>> DON'T SWEAT IT MAN, BUT HEY MAYBE NEXT TIME DON'T FREAK OUT
JUST BECAUSE A BLACK MAN WANTS TO USE THE ATM MACHINE.
>> ALRIGHT. FAIR ENOUGH. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
SORRY, MAN. >> YO, HOLD THAT DOOR, MAN.
>> OH MY GOD, PLEASE, DON'T. >> HEY, WHAT'S UP, MAN.
HOW YOU FEELING? LOOK BITCH, ARE YOU GOING TO USE
THAT MACHINE, OR WHAT? YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS CAN JUST GO
AHEAD. >> NO, I WANT TO GO SECOND.
I'M MAD PATIENCE. >> THE THING IS I MIGHT HAVE
GRABBED THE WRONG CARD. >> TRY IT ANYWAY THOUGH DOG.
I'M FEELING LUCKY. GO AHEAD, YEAH, BE BRAVE.
HEY WATCH YOURSELF BIG MAN. HURRY UP BITCH, COME ON.
WHAT YOU NERVOUS A BLACK MAN WALKING IN HERE JUST WANT TO USE
THE ATM BRO. >> NO, MY BROTHER.
>> WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG. >> THE CARD DOESN'T SEEM TO BE
WORKING. >> TRY IT AGAIN DOG.
COME ON. BREATHE, MAN.
ARE YOU CRYING? >> NO.
>> I'M TIRED OF WAITING ON YOU DOG.
>> I WANT TO GO HOME. >> SUCK IT UP MAN.
>> EVERYTHING OKAY? >> CAN WE GET OUT OF HERE?
I SAW SOME SKETCHY LOOKING GUYS EARLIER.
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SKETCHY? >> YOU KNOW, THEY WERE --
>> BLACK? YOU KNOW, HONEY, YOU CAN'T JUST
JUDGE PEOPLE BY THE WAY THEY LOOK.
YOU KNOW? I MEAN FOR ALL YOU KNOW THEY
WERE HARD WORKING, HONEST PEOPLE JUST LIKE US.
[ YELLING ] >> GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT.
[ GROANS ] >> WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ROB THE
WHITE GUY? I WOULD HAVE HELPED YOU GUYS.
>> YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
>> WHOA, WHOA, NO KISSING. >> OH, THAT'S RIGHT, BECAUSE
YOUR A PROSTITUTE. >> YEAH.
THAT'S THE RULE. [ APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
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