Government Shutdown Negotiations, Trump's Star Wars Cantina Remix

-Here's what everyone is talking about, you guys.
Good news. It looks like the government shutdown is over.
[ Cheers and applause ]
They shut it down, and they started it back up.
It's nice to know Trump's plan for fixing the government
is the same as fixing a Windows computer.
[ As Pres. Trump ] "Did you try unplugging it?
Wait 10 seconds."
[ Laughter ]
Even though the government is open again,
Congress still has to reach a long-term budget agreement.
And one of the problems is that Democrats, Republicans,
and the White House all seem to want different things.
Here. I'll show what I mean.
For example, Democrats want the CHIP program to be funded.
Republicans want Mexican border security.
Trump wants chips and a bowl of salsa.
-Ah. Wow. -You see?
They want different things. -Different things.
-Democrats want to support LGBTQ rights.
Republicans want to support NRA positions.
Trump wants to support DQ, BK, and KFC.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Next, Democrats want legal weed.
Republicans want improved relations with Russia.
Trump wants everyone to smoke their legal weed
and forget about the Russia investigation.
[ Cheers and applause ]
And finally, Democrats want to fight
climate change and severe storms.
Republicans want to support Jeff Sessions.
Trump wants another session with Stormy Daniels.
-Really?!
[ Applause ]
Hey-oh!
-Whoo! -Whoo!
"Wall!"
-This is nice --
Some members of Congress
donated their salaries to charity during the shutdown.
A few members of the House even spoke up about the issue.
Check out what they had to say.
First, Congressman Billy Long said...
[ Laughter ]
Congressman Andy Barr said...
[ Laughter ]
Congressman Ted Budd was like...
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
And finally, Congresswoman Anna Eshoo...
[ Laughter ]
[ Drum roll ]
...said...
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'm just glad -- Thank you.
♪♪♪♪
Another big story here.
Saturday was the second annual Women's March.
Thousands of women --
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thousands of women held signs protesting the President.
But Trump was like, "Joke's on you. I can't read."
[ Laughter ]
Let's get to some sports here.
Last night, the Eagles moved on to the Super Bowl.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪♪♪
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
The Eagles moved on to the Super Bowl
after beating the Vikings 38-7.
[ Cheers ]
The last time someone got beat up that bad in Philadelphia,
he had to move in with his auntie and uncle In Bel-Air.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪♪♪
Also, the New England Patriots advanced to the Super Bowl.
[ Cheers and applause, booing ]
That's right. But did you see this, though?
It looked like one of the referees was actually
celebrating with the Patriots after the game.
Did you see that?
When asked if the game was rigged, the ref said,
[ Russian accent ] "No, it was completely normal game
of American football."
[ Chuckles nervously, whistling ]
[ Normal voice ] What?
[ Laughs ]
I don't know what he's doing. -What?
-A lot of people were talking about this.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
named their newborn daughter Chicago West.
Sounds less like a baby and more like something
that would air on Thursdays at 10:00 p.m. on NBC.
[ Dramatically ] "Next on 'Chicago West'..."
"Get back here!"
[ Laughter ]
[ Whistles ]
Hey, that's the referee.
He got a spinoff show. -Wow.
-This is going viral.
You guys know the "Cantina" song from "Star Wars"?
You know, like -- [ Vocalizes "Cantina Band" ]
Yeah, well, a woman posted a video online
where she does a cover of the song
only using a pencil and paper while solving a math equation.
Now listen to the pencil. It's pretty amazing. Watch this.
[ Pencil scratching to tune of "Cantina Band" ]
Not bad, right? Isn't that cool?
-Wow! Whoa! -Isn't that cool?
-Yeah. -That was awesome.
Well, the video is actually inspiring lots of other people
to make their own "Cantina" covers.
I wasn't so sure about this one, though. Take a look at this.
[ To tune of "Cantina Band" ] ♪♪ Do, do, do, do, do-do-do, do ♪♪
♪♪ Ka-ching, bing, bing, bang-bang, boom-boom ♪♪
♪♪ Do, do, do, do, do-do-do, bomp, you know ♪♪
♪♪ Bong, bong, shut up, bing, bing-bing ♪♪
♪♪ Do, do, do, do, pew-pew, hello ♪♪
♪♪ Bing-bing, ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪♪
♪♪ Yah-ah, ah-ah, bing-bing, bong, and God ♪♪
-We have a great show tonight. Give it up for...The Roots!
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Government Shutdown Negotiations, Trump's Star Wars Cantina Remix - Monologue

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