The 'Sh*thole Countries' Have One Thing Going For Them

WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW.
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
ALL WEEK LONG, ALL WEEK LONG PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS TRIED
DESPERATELY TO CONVINCE US THAT HE IS A STABLE, STEADY LEADER.
HE TOOK QUESTIONS, OPENED UP A MEETING TO THE PRESS, MET WITH
FOREIGN DIGNITARIES, IT WAS A NICE ACT.
BUT LIKE MANY MEN HIS AGE HE CAN ONLY KEEP IT UP FOR SO LONG.
(LAUGHTER) TODAY, TODAY, TODAY HE RETURNED
TO THE SAME UNSTABLE, REACTIONARY PRESIDENT WE'VE ALL
COME TO KNOW AND-- KNOW.
THIS AFTERNOON HE WAS MEETING WITH LAWMAKERS TO DISCUSS
IMMIGRATION POLICY.
SEVERAL OF THESE LAWMAKERS SUGGESTED LIFTING RESTRICTIONS
FOR IMMIGRANTS FROM HAITI, EL SALVADORE AND VARIOUS AFRICAN
COUNTRY, TRUMP REPORTEDLY SAID WHY ARE WE HAVING ALL THESE
PEOPLE FROM [BLEEP] HOLE COUNTRIES COME HERE.
>> Jon: WOW (LAUGHTER)
TZ SIR, THEY'RE NOT [BLEEP] HOLE COUNTRY, FOR ONE, DONALD TRURP
ISN'T THEIR PRESIDENT.
(APPLAUSE) TZ AM I RIGHT?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT THE PRESIDENT DIDN'T JUST COMPLAIN, HE OFFERED AN ALL AN
ALTERNATIVE.
HE THINKS THE UNITED STAIGHTS SHOULD INSTEAD BRING MORE PEOPLE
FROM COUNTRIES LIKE NORWAY.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
NOR NORWEGIAN PEOPLE?
YOU KCH MY DRIFT, PEOPLE WITH BLOND HAIR WHO NEED A LOT OF
SUNSCREEN.
YOU GET WHAT I AM SAYING?
I'M SAYING I'M A RACIST?
ARE YOU GETTING THAT PART?
IS THIS ON?
BUT THAT WASN'T THE ONLY PACKET OF INTERNATIONAL CRAZE RAY SAUCE
HE SQUIRTED OUT TODAY.
IN AN INTERVIEW WITH THE "THE WALL STREET JOURNAL" HE
REASSURED US THINGS ARE GOING GREAT WITH NORTH KOREA SAYING, I
PROBABLY HAVE A VERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH KIM JONG-UN.
PROBABLY?
THAT IS DEFINITELY TERRIFYING.
HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW IF YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE?
I'M PROBABLY MARRIED TO MELANIA.
SHE CERTAINLY IS AROUND HERE A LOT.
NOW AT ONE POINT DONALD TRUMP SAID THAT NORTH KOREA MIGHT BE
DRIVING TO DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN THE U.S. AND SOUTH KOREA.
BUT ASSURED US THAT, I KNOW MORE ABOUT WEDGES THAN ANY HUMAN
BEING THAT'S LIVED.
OH SIR, YOU ARE A WEDGE.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THE SIMPLEST OF TOOLS.
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The 'Sh*thole Countries' Have One Thing Going For Them

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