Trump vs. The FBI: Republicans Investigate the Investigation: The Daily Show

From almost the beginning of the investigation,
Republicans have tried to find any reason
to discredit special counsel Robert Mueller.
He was friends with Comey.
People on his team donated money to Hillary.
Uh, and he thought the best part of The Last Jedi
was when Princess Leia flew through space.
All types of ideas. But the thing Republicans
are focusing on right now is a group of text messages
sent by someone formerly on Mueller's team.
Controversial text messages from senior FBI officials
have led to a barrage of criticism,
and some Senate Republicans are all but accusing the FBI
of engaging in a conspiracy against the president.
Republicans on the attack.
That issue: highly critical, biased text messages
between senior FBI officials Peter Strzok and Lisa Page,
Strzok calling then candidate Trump an idiot,
Page saying that she couldn't believe
he was a serious candidate for president.
Okay, okay. I kind of understand what the Republicans are saying.
If someone thinks Trump is an idiot,
you don't want that person investigating him.
On the other hand, if you don't think Trump's an idiot,
then you're the idiot.
Like, we don't want an idiot in charge of an investigation.
We'll find him eating the evidence.
"We finally found Trump's tax returns!"
"Uh..." "No!"
"No."
And, like, let's-let's not pretend
that I'm hating on President Trump.
I'm just saying what Republicans are thinking and saying.
REPORTER: Rex Tillerson had called Donald Trump a moron.
REPORTER 2: One staffer said working with Trump was like
"trying to figure out what a child wants."
Others inside the White House thought
he was "no more than semiliterate."
REPORTER 3 (reading):
I think he's a kook.
I think he's crazy.
Someone who thinks the nuclear triad
-is a rock band from the 1980s. -Oh, yeah.
See? Even Republicans think that Trump is an idiot.
I mean, Jeb's campaign slogan was literally
"Trump's an idiot, please clap."
-Please clap. -(applause)
So, so an FBI agent calling Trump an idiot
wasn't the bombshell that some had hoped for.
But this week, more texts sent between FBI staff emerged,
and, for many Republican conspiracy theorists,
Christmas came early.
In one of the texts, according to Republicans
who have reviewed them, it discussed these two individuals
talking about a secret society
on the day after Trump's election.
That was Lisa Page's text! She said... she said
that we need to be able to get together
and have our secret society meeting.
Of course, I'm gonna want to know what secret society
-are you talking about. -You see the text.
They-they used that. "Maybe we ought to have the first meeting
of the secret society." It's not my words-- that's theirs.
The FBI has a secret society
that they call "the secret society"?
That's really sinister and, uh, a little obvious.
I mean, calling your secret society the secret society
is a weird way to keep a secret.
That would be like if Batman's real name was Bruce Batman.
"Hey, Bruce! Are you related to Batman?"
"Never heard of him."
"Oh, and what's the suit in the background?"
"It's a sex thing."
Like, if you're in a secret society that controls the world,
you would give it a boring name, like World Economic Forum,
and you'd hold meetings in a Swiss mountain resort
like a supervillain. That's just what I would do.
But... You know? But, now, now, there is one development
in the story that you have to admit
does seem a little suspicious.
REPORTER: During the Department of Justice's investigation
into Strzok, it found texts were missing
between December 14, 2016 and May 17, 2017.
Those dates span the presidential transition
and the day Robert Mueller was appointed.
The FBI blames software and technical issues,
saying employees with many Samsung 5 mobile devices
did not capture texts during that time.
You see, that's weird.
You're telling me that all the FBI's phones
just happened to glitch out in the period under investigation?
And, guys, these were Samsung phones.
When they don't blow up, they're very reliable.
So you may want to dismiss this whole FBI conspiracy
as Republican fan fiction, but for a change, for a change,
maybe we should look at it from their point of view.
Give me music and lights
from a Trump supporter's point of view, please.
(eerie instrumental music plays)
Think about it.
FBI agents who were investigating Trump
were also calling him an idiot.
How did they know?
And if there's no plots against the president here,
then why would they have a secret society?
MAN: ABC News obtaining one of those messages overnight.
Page writing to Strzok,
"Are you even going to give out your calendars?
"Seems kind of depressing.
"Maybe it should just be the first meeting
of the secret society."
Sources tell ABC News the two had a personal relationship,
so the message's reference
to a secret society may have been in jest.
We are now learning that this was all, apparently, a gag gift
or a joke between friends.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You want me to believe
that friends just text each other jokes?
(laughter)
That's not like any relationship I've ever had.
And even if it was a joke, isn't it suspicious
that the so-called Department of Justice lost all those texts,
never to be found again?
Breaking news. The Department of Justice now says
it has recovered those missing text messages.
Aha!
That's not what I was expecting, but still.
You know what, man? Turn the lights back up.
Turn the lights up.
Look, people, we all know what's happening here.
Republicans are just trying to discredit the FBI
and the Justice Department as much as possible
so that when Robert Mueller comes out with his findings,
you'll see them...
in a different light.
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Trump vs. The FBI: Republicans Investigate the Investigation: The Daily Show

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