Obama's State Of The Union Had More Viewers

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.
THE PRESIDENT TODAY IS STILL BASKING IN THE AFTERBIRTH OF HIS
STATE OF THE UNION.
THIS MORNING, HE TWEETED "THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE NICE
COMPLIMENTS AND REVIEWS ON THE STATE OF THE UNION SPEECH
45.6 MILLION PEOPLE WATCHED, THE HIGHEST NUMBER IN HISTORY.
OKAY.
FIRST, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
SECOND, IT'S A LIE.
45.6 MILLION ISN'T THE RECORD, BECAUSE OBAMA'S FIRST STATE OF
THE UNION HAD 48 MILLION VIEWERS AND THE MOST VIEWED WAS BILL
CLINTON'S IN 1993 WHICH HAD 66.9 MILLION VIEWERS.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) LOOK, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY
PEOPLE WATCHED, BUT WHAT DOES MATTER IS THAT THE PRESIDENT
NEEDS TO LIE ABOUT IT, AND THEN SOMEHOW GET AWAY WITH IT.
THIS IS THE NEW WORLD WE LIVE IN.
SO LET ME SAY, IN ADVANCE, CONGRATULATIONS TO PRESIDENT
TRUMP ON WINNING THE SUPER BOWL!
( LAUGHTER ) WELL PLAYED.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO GOOD.
ALSO, YOU MAKE A GREAT BLACK PANTHER.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THE PRESIDENT DID BREAK ONE
RECORD, BECAUSE THIS WAS THE MOST TWEETED-ABOUT STATE OF THE
UNION IN TWITTER HISTORY.
YES, TWITTER HISTORY.
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S LIKE REGULAR HISTORY, BUT
SHORTER AND NOT TRUE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND SOMEHOW WITH MORE NAZIS.
TRUMP GAVE A SPEECH TODAY AT A REPUBLICAN RETREAT IN WEST
VIRGINIA, WHERE HE ALSO TALKED ABOUT HOW GREAT HE DID AT THE
STATE OF THE UNION.
>> AFRICAN AMERICAN AND HISPANIC UNEMPLOYMENT HAVE BOTH REACHED
THE LOWEST LEVELS EVER RECORDED AND THAT IS SOMETHING VERY, VERY
SPECIAL.
( APPLAUSE ) AND WHEN I MADE THAT STATEMENT
THE OTHER NIGHT, THERE WAS ZERO MOVEMENT FROM THE DEMOCRATS.
THEY SAT THERE, STONE COLD, NO SMILE, NO APPLAUSE.
>> STEPHEN: YEAH, YOU'D THINK DEMOCRATS WOULD APPLAUD, SINCE
THAT'S ALL BECAUSE OF OBAMA.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
"I TELL YA WHAT -- I TELL YA -- LOOK, I DON'T GET WHY BLACK
PEOPLE DON'T LIKE ME.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I NEED TO CALL JAY-Z A SON OF A BITCH
ON TWITTER."
( LAUGHTER ) AND TRUMP GAVE HIS FIRST YEAR IN
OFFICE A PRETTY GLOWING REVIEW.
>> BUT, NOW WE FULFILLED FAR MORE PROMISES THAN WE PROMISED.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
I HESITATE TO DRAG LOGIC KICKING AND SCREAMING INTO THIS
CONVERSATION, BUT YOU CAN'T FULFILL MORE PROMISES THAN YOU
PROMISED.
THAT'S JUST TAKING CREDIT FOR STUFF THAT HAPPENED.
"LOOK AT THE SUN, ROSE AGAIN.
YOU'RE WELCOME."
( LAUGHTER ) MOST OF THE SPEECH WAS JUST THE
PRESIDENT LOOKING FOR PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE.
IT WAS THE PRESIDENTIAL SEE 'N SAY.
>> WHERE IS TIM?
WHERE IS DON YOUNG.
TIM?
KEVIN, WHERE ARE YOU, KEVIN?
WHERE ARE THEY?
SENATOR?
GOOD-- SENATOR?
WHERE IS ORRIN?
ORRIN?
ORRIN IS-- I LOVE LISTENING TO HIM SPEAK.
HE SAID ONCE THAT I AM THE SINGLE GREATEST PRESIDENT IN HIS
LIFETIME.
NOW, HE IS A YOUNG MAN, SO IT IS NOT THAT MUCH, BUT-- AND HE
ACTUALLY ONCE SAID THAT I'M THE GREATEST PRESIDENT IN THE
HISTORY OF OUR COUNTRY, AND I SAID, DOES THAT INCLUDE LINCOLN
AND WASHINGTON?
AND HE SAID YES.
>> STEPHEN: TRUMP SAYS 83-YEAR-OLD HATCH CALLED HIM
GREATER THAN LINCOLN AND WASHINGTON?
SOMEONE'S GOT DEMENTIA, AND I WISH IT WAS ME.
( LAUGHTER ) HE ALSO SHARED SOME
INSPIRATIONAL WORDS ABOUT THE FUTURE OF THE COUNTRY.
>> FOR AMERICANS, NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IS OUT OF
REACH.
BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD "QUIT."
>> STEPHEN: MAYBE NOT, BUT A LOT OF REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN KNOW
THE MEANING OF "NOT SEEKING RE-ELECTION."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND MORE TIME WITH THEIR FAMILY!
THEY WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME RAISING MONEY WITH THEIR FAMILY.
AND TRUMP ENDED WITH HIS BEST TOUGH-GUY IMPRESSION.
>> AND THERE'S ONE MORE VERY IMPORTANT PROMISE WE'RE KEEPING.
NO LONGER ARE WE MAKING APOLOGIES FOR AMERICA.
WE DON'T APOLOGIZE ANYMORE.
>> STEPHEN: "WE ALSO DON'T LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES, WE JUST
BARREL FORWARD BLINDLY WITHOUT ANY REFLECTION.
HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH, EVERYBODY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SEE, THEY'RE CLAPPING.
THEY'RE CLAPPING.
WHY COULDN'T THE DEMOCRATS CLAP?
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Obama's State Of The Union Had More Viewers

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