GIVE IT UP!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Jon: HEY!
>> Stephen: JOHN, YOU KNOW I'VE ALWAYS SAID YOU'RE A
DIFFERENT BREED OF CAT.
>> Jon: YEAH, YOU GOTTA BE A GOOD DAD.
>> Stephen: YOU ARE WAY GONE, DADDYO.
>> Jon: YEAH, KEEP IT ROLLING, BABY.
>> Stephen: YOU REMEMBER ABOUT A MONTH AGO WHEN
AMERICA HAD MEMO FEVER?
THERE WAS HASHTAG "RELEASE THE MEMO," WHICH WAS ABOUT A
MEMO WRITTEN BY HOUSE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE CHAIR AND
YOUNGEST MAN AT THE SENIOR'S BRUNCH, DEVIN NUNES.
LAUGH WELL, LAST FRIDAY, I WENT DOWN
TO CAPITOL HILL TO INVESTIGATE THE INVESTIGATIONS AND
DISTRIBUTE MY OWN MEMO ABOUT DEVIN NUNES.
CAN YOU READ WHAT IS ON THE MEMO?
>> THE MEMO SAYS, "INVESTIGATION UPDATE, DEVIN NUNES IS A," AND
THEN IT'S REDACTED.
>> STEPHEN: YES, WE DON'T KNOW.
DEVIN NUNES IS A-- AND WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO RELEASE THAT
INFORMATION.
THAT'S CLASSIFIED.
CBS WON'T LET ME SAY IT ON AIR, ANYWAY.
>> I THINK THIS SHOULD BE RELEASED.
DEVIN NUNES IS A-- >> STEPHEN: YEAH, COULD BE
ANYTHING, WE DON'T KNOW.
DO YOU HAVE ANY GUESSES WHAT IT MIGHT SAY UNDERNEATH THERE?
>> FORMER DAIRY FARMER.
>> STEPHEN: FORMER DAIRY FARMER?
>> YEAH.
BECAUSE HE SEEMS TO BE MILKING IT RIGHT NOW.
( APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: SO AS MUCH FUN AS WE
HAD DOWN THERE, ULTIMATELY WHAT WE WANTED WAS FOR NUNES TO
RESPOND TO US, A COMEDY SHOW.
BUT SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT THAT GUY, HE'S NOT THAT DUMB, IS WHAT
I THOUGHT.
>> STEPHEN COLBERT WAS UP ON CAPITOL HILL, I THINK MAKING YOU
THE BUTT OF SOME JOKES.
>> I THINK THIS IS THE DANGER THAT WE HAVE IN THIS COUNTRY,
THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF IT.
SO, THE LEFT CONTROLS NOT ONLY THE UNIVERSITIES IN THE COUNTRY
BUT THEY ALSO CONTROL HOLLYWOOD IN THIS COUNTRY AND THE
MAINSTREAM MEDIA >> Stephen: HAGAAAAH!
HE TOOK THE BAIT!
( LAUGHTER ) NUNES ASKED WHETHER WE REACHED
OUT FOR OUR PIECE.
>> DID COLBERT TRY TO REACH YOU TO HAVE YOU ON?
>> I HAVE NO IDEA.
>> Stephen: I KNOW.
AND SO DO THE CAMERAS WE BROUGHT ALONG.
( LAUGHTER ) HI, STEPHEN COLBERT.
IS THE CONGRESSMAN IN?
( LAUGHTER ) >> NOT RIGHT NOW.
>> STEPHEN: HE'S NOT IN?
>> UNFORTUNATELY, NO, I'M SORRY.
AND UNFORTUNATELY, WE CAN'T FILM IN THE OFFICE.
>> STEPHEN: OKAY, CAN I LEAVE SOMETHING FOR HIM?
>> OF COURSE.
>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
( LAUGHTER ) RELEASE MY MEMO.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO EITHER YOUR STAFF DIDN'T TELL
YOU THAT I CHARGED INTO YOUR OFFICE, OR YOU'RE NOT TELLING
THE TRUTH.
SO IS DEVIN NUNES A LIAR?
"NOT THAT I KNOW OF."
( LAUGHTER ) BUT STILL, NUNES WAS A PRETTY
GOOD SPORT: >> I ENJOY THE ATTACKS, IF THEY
WANT TO CONTINUE TO ATTACK ME, THAT'S FINE.
>> STEPHEN: GREAT, BECAUSE WE GOT SHOWS ALL WEEK.
( LAUGHTER ) IN FACT, LET'S SHOW SOME OF THE
JOKES WE DIDN'T USE...UNTIL NOW.
DOES IT EVER SURPRISE YOU AS IRONIC THAT DEVIN NUNES IS THE
HEAD OF SOMETHING CALLED THE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE?
( LAUGHTER ) >> I'M NOT GONNA COMMENT ON
THAT.
>> Stephen: OKAY, NO PROBLEM.
HE WAS NICE ABOUT THAT.
BUT I ALSO ASKED ADAM CHIEF IF NUNES EVEN WANTED TO
LEARN ABOUT RUSSIAN COLLUSION FROM WITNESSES.
AT ANY POINT HAS DEVIN NUNES DONE THIS?
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU."
( LAUGHTER ) SO, JUST TO REVIEW, HERE'S DEVIN
NUNES' FAVORITE PRESIDENT" -- GOOD FOR AMERICA.
>> RUSSIA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING, I HOPE YOU ARE ABLE TO FIND THE
30,000 E-MAILS THAT ARE MISSING.
>> STEPHEN: AND HERE'S ME, DANGER TO AMERICA:
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.
I SEE IT.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DAVID OYELOWO.
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