How to Teach a Toddler to Pee in Public | Momsplained

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- Today on Momsplained, how to teach a kid to pee
in public because nothing says good time
like a bus station toilet with a toddler.
Step one notice the pee pee dance.
When your kid is playing but doesn't wanna
stop playing for pee and starts to hop around
like they're on hot coals,
it means it's time to drop whatever you're doing
and gun it to the nearest bathroom.
Toddlers don't tell you until the pee is coming out.
So when you see the signs, run and pray you make it.
Step two choose your stance.
Based on the age of the kid
and whether this is a number one or number two
and the level of filth in the bathroom you may decide on
the fold and hold.
Hold legs in front, basically fold the kid like a taco,
and hover a couple of inches above the seat.
The lift and aim.
Hold up a little boy, pretend she's a boy,
so his peeper doesn't touch the edge of the bowl,
and he can aim.
Do one of those.
You can even make circles if you want.
The cover and hover.
Wrap the seat with t.p. or a seat cover
and hover over them so they don't fall in.
You good?
You're gonna need to end with wiping their butt every time.
This is about survival, not independence.
Don't touch the seat, okay?
Step three avoid an auto flush freakout.
Look, kids are scared of getting flushed away
and auto flush loves getting triggered at random times.
(toilet flushing)
Whoever invented it should probably get
a swift kick in the ass from moms everywhere
but until then, try to avoid it if possible.
Step four, hands up where I can see 'em.
Literally train your kids not to touch anything in the room,
not even the sink.
Hoist them up to wash their hands
and avoid that hand blower because, germs.
Do the shake to air dry or use paper towels.
Step five bust out those ninja moves.
Get outta there without touching
the door handle on the way out.
This can be tough to teach a toddler
but with enough practice they'll be just as
grossed out by germs as you soon enough.
(exhales heavily) Yes, made it.
No, you can't keep 'em in diapers forever.
That's why we invented bath time.
Girl bye.
You've been momsplained.
(jazzy music)
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How to Teach a Toddler to Pee in Public | Momsplained | Scary Mommy

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