Donald Trump Robert Mueller Cold Open

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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> OH, MY GOD, MR. PRESIDENT,
WELCOME. IS IT JUST YOU?
>> NO, I'M MEETING SOME FRIENDS. >> OKAY.
GREAT. WELL, LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE
ANY QUESTIONS. >> I DO ACTUALLY.
IS HPV DIFFERENT THAN HIV? >> I'LL GIVE YOU A MINUTE.
♪♪♪ ♪ JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL
LIVING IN A LONELY WORLD SHE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN
GOING ANYWHERE ♪ ♪♪♪
>> HEY. >> HEY.
>> HOW YOU DOING? >> SO, RUDY, DID YOU GO ON FOX
NEWS LAST NIGHT? >> LIKE 20 TIMES, YEAH.
AND DON'T WORRY, I TOLD THEM YOU WERE OPENLY COLLUDING WITH
RUSSIA, BUT THEN I ENDED WITH "SO WHAT?"
SO IT SHOULD ALL BE FINE. >> THANKS, RUDY.
>> I EVEN CONFESSED TO SOME CRIMES YOU DIDN'T DO.
I SAID, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, ARREST THE PRESIDENT?
I DARE YOU. >> OKAY.
I THINK THEY GET THE POINT. RUDY, I REALLY APPRECIATE
EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE FOR ME. >> HEY, YOU'RE THE BEST AND LAST
CLIENT I'LL EVER HAVE. >> MICHAEL COHN.
THERE'S MY GUY. >> SO HOW WAS WORK TODAY?
>> AH, YOU KNOW, REALLY BAD. MOSTLY JUST PREPARING TO GO TO
JAIL AND STUFF. THEY SAID I MIGHT GET 20 YEARS
UNLESS I GIVE YOU UP. >> I HEARD JAIL'S FUN.
>> FUN? >> YEAH, LIKE CAMP.
PLUS A FREE GYM. DUDE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET SO
JACKED. >> HEY, THEY EVEN HAVE A PROGRAM
IN JAIL WHERE YOU CAN GET A REAL LAW DEGREE.
HA-HA-HA! >> WELL, YOU CAN ALWAYS COME
VISIT. >> I WOULD, BUT -- GOLF.
>> ANYWAY, YOU'VE GOT TO FOCUS ON THE GOOD TIMES.
ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU TOLD ME ONCE, BOSS?
>> I DID. >> YEAH, REMEMBER, THAT'S WHY
YOU TOLD ME TO KEEP A COPY OF THAT RUSSIAN PEE TAPE.
>> OH, I GOTTA REMEMBER TO SHOW THAT AS A CLIP ON CNN TOMORROW.
DON LEMON'S GOING TO LOVE THAT. >> HEY, WHATEVER HAPPENS, I'M
PROUD OF YOU, MICHAEL. >> THANKS, I LOVE YOU, TOO.
>> I DIDN'T SAY THAT. DON JR.!
>> HEY, DAD. >> SO WHERE'S ERIC?
>> HE'S STILL PARALLEL PARKING OUTSIDE.
>> DANG IT. >> YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T THINK OF
THREE PEOPLE I'D RATHER BE WITH HERE TONIGHT.
MY BEST SON, AND TWO OF MY LAST 15 LAWYERS.
>> HEY, TO A GREAT FIRST YEAR OF THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION.
>> AND MANY MORE. >> DAD, MAYBE TOMORROW I CAN
SHOW YOU THE CHINESE DEAL WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT.
>> YEAH, YEAH. THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
IS THAT ROBERT MUELLER? >> OH, GOOD NEWS.
YOU KNOW THAT WOMAN WHO'S SUING YOU FOR GROPING AND DEFAMING
HER? I FOUND A GUY WHO'S WILLING TO
THREATEN HER KIDS. >> THAT SOUNDS GREAT, MICHAEL.
AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT SEES THAT GUY?
>> I THINK I FIGURED OUT A LOOPHOLE WHERE THEY CAN'T
LEGALLY SUBPOENA YOU. OKAY, HAVE YOU HEARD THE PHRASE
"FAKING YOUR OWN DEATH?" >> SURE, RUDY.
WE CAN LOOK INTO THAT FOR SURE. >> DAD, ARE YOU OKAY?
♪ DON'T STOP BELIEVING HOLD ON TO THE FEELING
STREETLIGHTS PEOPLE ♪ ♪♪♪
>> LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"!

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Donald Trump Robert Mueller Cold Open - SNL

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