
in the criminal investigation of his campaign
by peddling a baseless conspiracy theory.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Trump's legal problems get worse every day.
Just take the investigation of his personal attorney
Michael Cohen, who set up a secret shell company
to make hush payments to porn stars
and allegedly took money from Ukraine
to set up a meeting with Trump.
And now it looks like one of Cohen's business partners
is cooperating with prosecutors.
-"The New York Times" just now
publishing a report saying
that a business partner
of President Trump's long-time
personal lawyer and fixer
Michael Cohen has reached
a plea deal, and will cooperate
with federal investigators.
-his is a potentially explosive
development at this hour because
it adds even more pressure
on Cohen to flip and work with prosecutors.
According to "The Times,"
Michael Cohen's business partner
is Evgeny Freidman. You see him there.
His nickname, apparently, is the "Taxi King."
-That's right. Michael Cohen's business partner
was a guy called the Taxi King.
[ Laughter ]
Of course he also answers to Russian Guy Fieri,
or [bleep] Bono.
[ Laughter ]
So, every day,
every day we get new bombshells
about the criminal investigation of Trump's campaign,
but we can't lose sight of the fact
that while all of this is happening,
Trump is still supposed to be doing the job of president.
It's like if you found out in the middle of your flight
that your pilot was wasted,
sure, you'd want him arrested,
but right now, someone needs to tell him
that the plane is upside down. [ Laughter ]
And for Trump, the big thing he's supposed to be focused on
right now is his upcoming summit with North Korea.
Trump has been hyping this summit every way he can.
His crowds have been chanting "Nobel" at his rallies,
and his government even made a commemorative coin
to celebrate the meeting.
Look at that thing. [ Laughter ]
That looks like the medal you'd get after running a 5K
to fight chronic chinlessness.
[ Laughter ]
That looks like the coin you'd use to play ski ball
at the Dave and Busters in Pyongyang.
[ Laughter ]
But, hey, the crowds are chanting "Nobel,"
the government is making commemorative coins,
so I assume when Trump met with
South Korean President Moon Jae-in yesterday
to discuss the meeting in Singapore,
he assured the nation that everything
is going according to plan.
-The big topic will be Singapore and the meeting,
see what happens, whether or not it happens.
If it does, that will be great.
It will be a great thing for North Korea,
and if it doesn't, that's okay, too.
Whatever it is, it is.
We are working on something, and you know, there is a chance
that it will work out. There's a chance.
There's a very substantial chance it won't work out.
So there is a very substantial chance
that it won't work out, and that's okay.
-What do you mean it might not work out?
There's already a coin.
[ Laughter ]
It's like babe Ruth stepping into the box,
pointing to left field, and then saying,
"Or I might bunt."
[ Laughter ]
Trump then blamed Chinese President Xi Jinping
for persuading Kim Jong-un to threaten to pull out
of the summit in order to keep the U.S. off-balance.
-I'm a little disappointed because when Kim Jong-un
had the meeting with President Xi in China,
the second meeting. The first meeting we knew about.
The second meeting,
I think there was a little change in attitude
from Kim Jong-un. So I don't like that.
-No, but I think that President Xi
is a world-class poker player,
and I probably may be doing the same thing that he would do.
-No, you would not be doing the same thing.
If he's a world-class poker player,
you're still reading the instructions
on the Candy Land lid.
[ Laughter ]
[ As Trump ] Says here...
[ Cheers and applause ]
...place board on flat surface.
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] It shouldn't surprise us that Trump
is incompetent when it comes to foreign policy
because diplomats who've worked with him have told us as much.
This week for example, "The New Yorker" published
an interview with a former ambassador to Panama,
John Feeley, who described his first meeting with Trump
in June 2017.
[ Laughter ]
Who knew? I don't know,
Hillary, Bernie, Mitt, Marco,
anyone who's ever heard of the Panama Canal,
David Lee Roth.
[ Laughter ]
The most terrifying thing, though, is the degree to which
Trump as President is exactly like the unhinged maniac
we see in public.
-This is a quote from the article
describing your thoughts on the president, okay?
You said in private he is exactly like he is on TV...
-That's right. Trump is a velociraptor,
but fortunately, as we've learned from Chris Pratt,
all you need is a clicker to calm him down.
[ Laughter ]
[ As Trump ] This Russia hoax is a scam.
It's a witch hunt.
[ Normal voice ] Hold on, easy boy.
[ Clicking ]
Easy, boy.
Can I get you a Diet Coke?
[ Clicking ]
[ Applause ]
And everyone who works for Trump knows this,
which is why they either quit or obediently do his bidding.
Just take his Secretary of Homeland Security,
Kirstjen Nielsen.
Yesterday Nielsen was asked if she was aware
of the intelligence community's assessment that Russia
was trying to help Trump win the 2016 election.
This assessment came all the way back
in January 2017,
and yet Nielsen acted like she didn't know anything about it.
-I do not believe that
I've seen that conclusion.
That the specific intent
was to help President Trump win,
I'm not aware of that.
-You're not aware of that?
You're the Secretary of Homeland Security.
That's like the Mayor of New York City
saying he is not aware of delays on the subway.
It's my understanding that the F train is always on time
and smells like lavender.
Although it's not surprising Trump's aides would pretend
they're not aware of the basis for the Russian investigation
because Trump himself has spent months doing everything he can
to attack, and discredit that investigation,
and now he is openly interfering in it
right in front of our eyes. For example,
it was reported that the FBI used an informant
to talk to three Trump campaign officials
who had contacts with Russians,
but Trump as usual is taking it 10 steps further,
claiming his campaign was spied on for political purposes,
and today he took it to a deranged new level
by trying to give his fake scandal a name.
-The president began his day tweeting this about the FBI.
-A lot of bad things have happened.
We now call it Spygate.
You're calling it Spygate.
-[ As Trump ] You spell it like "spaghetti."
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] Also, you're the only one calling it Spygate.
Trump is like a guy who tries to give himself
a new nickname and pretends it's catching on.
[ As Trump ] I'm Donald Trump, but everyone calls me D-Trizzy?
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] So now that Trump has cooked up
a wild conspiracy theory,
he is using that conspiracy theory
to demand an investigation of the investigation.
It would be scary if it weren't so transparent.
Trump's only move is to just do to the FBI
whatever the FBI is doing to him.
He is like a drunk Eagles fan screaming at the cops,
"I'm under arrest?! No, you're under arrest!"
[ Laughter ]
Trump's interfering in a criminal investigation,
and he is doing it right before our eyes.
If Robert Mueller charges Trump with obstruction of justice,
he has a good case because there are 300 million witnesses.
Thankfully, it's easy to see through Trump's lies
because he is not exactly a --
-World-class poker player.
-This has been "A Closer Look!"
[ Cheering and applause ]
♪♪
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