12 Steps To Get The TRUTH From Anyone

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all right Sweet T don't you hate when people are dishonest look everyone
understands the need to sometimes not be brutally honest because if you told
people things everything you thought then you know at times that could hurt
their feelings so we're always trying to be respectful of people but what really
disturbs me is a lack of honesty and I know you're the same way Sweet T so
we're going over my top 12 ways to get someone to confess the truth so I want
you to know that this is not covered by my Board Certified Behavior Analyst
credential this is just based on my experience behavior hack number one to
get people to confess to the truth make sure you're meeting with them one-on-one
you can't meet with people in front of a group of people it's got to be private
and it's got to be a comfortable discussion
you can't put someone on the spot and make them feel like they're being less
than honest in front of a group behavior hack number two to get someone to
confess don't sit across a table from them or
behind a desk because people start feeling like they're in trouble in the
principal's office you know in elementary school so sit next to
somebody side-by-side maybe at a roundtable and just make sure that you
make them feel at ease do not sit across from a table and you try to act like
you're their boss behavior hack number three to get someone to tell the truth
act as though you have all the facts and what you do is you find out a portion of
what occurred a portion of the truth and then you act as though you know the rest
so for example if you're dealing with a teenager you might find out some
intelligence do a little recon and find out the truth about something and say so
when you were at the Deptford mall in Gloucester County in New Jersey at 8
o'clock you know I know that this happened and then basically that gives
them half of the information so they assume you know the rest even though you
don't hack number four to get someone to be honest you just let them know that
you respect that they are a straight-shooter that they've been
honest with you in the past you tee it up that way and just say
look I I appreciate that you've been honest in the past it's something I
respect about you that lays the groundwork and sets the occasion for
honesty behavior hack number five to get the truth you need to show empathy so
when the person knows and when you're trying to get the truth or get some of
the divulge information that they're not comfortable show empathy say look I've
been in situations where I was a little bit less than honest I understand how
anxiety-producing that is you can feel safe telling me the truth so just show
some empathy and let them know that they have your support with telling you the
truth step number six to get someone to tell
you the truth what you do is you let them know something having to do with
the fact that you think that the information you have may have been
exaggerated just letting them know that you think that that information was
exaggerated and the truth that you're going to be told is not really as bad as
they made it seem because then they're ready to argue the truth and downplay
the issue behavior hack number seven to get the truth let the person know their
honesty will result in you trying to protect them to the fullest extent
doesn't mean you're making promises you're gonna try to protect them from
any really negative consequences because they're honest all right behavior hack
number eight in order to get the truth from someone after you ask a question
make sure that if they don't answer it right away you have a very long
uncomfortable silence you basically want to make sure that they have plenty of
silence and silence is very uncomfortable people want to fill the
silence they want to say something especially when you're trying to get the
truth from someone just allow the silence and the pause to occur don't
keep talking wait for their response and it's gonna feel like forever
it's going to result in them wanting to respond as soon as they start telling
the truth make sure that you're reinforcing in behavior analysis are
called successive approximations make sure you're reinforcing
small steps so as they start speaking nod your head because that reinforces
the small steps towards telling the truth
step number ten behavior hack number 10 to get them to tell the truth if they're
not answering your question and the silence isn't working
start moving closer to them the closer you start moving to someone the more
they're going to feel uncomfortable and then they're just going to want to spout
out the truth step number 11 if all else fails on
getting the truth what you do is let them know if you can if appropriate you
have the event on video or audio and they're going to be much more likely to
be forthright because they're gonna think that you have the whole story so
I'll give you an example of why you should act as though you have something
on video audio someone was over our house and a friend of a friend ended up
stealing some money in our basement we didn't have any cameras that were
visible our cameras all over our house you can't really find they're not always
that salient are conspicuous but we wanted to make sure that we recovered
that money so in order to recover this small amount of money and just to sniff
out who was the thief what we did is we allowed them to save face so we let them
know that a group of the kids know that we're in the basement we just let them
know that we have it on video and we're not going to make an issue out of it if
they just drop it off in the mailbox and in the sealed envelope so that way they
weren't embarrassed in front of everyone we didn't go to authorities we didn't go
to their parents we just pretended that we had it on video and asked them to
drop it off in the mailbox and there'll be no consequences that's an example of
how we were able to sniff out the truth and the person that stole the money if
you're not able to get the truth after these 11 steps I suggest that you just
ask the person to digest the conversation let them sleep on it and
set another date don't let them out of it let them know there's another day
you're gonna meet so you want to do what's called a scape extension
according to behavior analysis you want to make sure that
you're still following up with them and having another meeting listen since you
stuck around I want to throw out a bonus tip which is bonus hack number 12 this
one is how to make sure that they don't go deep into a lie because once people
start lying and going really deep into it it's hard for them to want to
backtrack once they've committed to a lie they don't want to go back on it
when you see the person starting to go down the road of not telling the truth
or being less than honest make sure you use an interrupt it right away and you
say but but wait give them some sort of fact and let them know they still have a
chance to tell the truth so listen if you really like what we're doing
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12 Steps To Get The TRUTH From Anyone | Human Lie Detector

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